Fantasing Isn't Cheating, Right?
by Alice In Narnia
Summary: Jenna just finished one of her sessions with Matty, but why was Collin the first thing to pop into her mind after? She finds herself fantasing about the boy that some might call her crush. It's not cheating if the feelings are only one-sided...but are they really one-sided?
1. The Collin Phase

As I put my arms through the sleeves of my shirt I couldn't help the sense of accomplishment that washed over me.

Matty and I had just lived the fantasy that I'd dreamed of as my first time with Collin but strangely this time we did it I didn't think about Collin at all. It wasn't just Matty's constant grunting in that interrupted my train of thought. No the train was perfectly on track and so was I.

Had I finally gotten over my Collin phase and gone back to reality? And if so why did I immediately start thinking about him after having sex with Matty? I didn't know the answers to these questions yet but things could only go uphill from here. Well at least that's what I thought until I dreamt about him again that night.

_**AWKWARD.**_

"So you didn't picture Collin when you and Matty were getting it on yesterday. That means you're over him right?" Tamara asked as she sat down at their usual table.

"I'm not sure. I don't think I am because he was the first person to pop into my head after we finished, that's not weird is it?" I asked, sitting beside her.

"Not really. First thing I thought about after Jake and I had sex was his socks. I thought it was kind of weird that he kept his socks on the whole time."

I looked at Tamara strangely before I went back to the matter at hand. "Should I tell Matty who the paper was actually written about?"

Tamara shook her head and placed a hand on my shoulder. "That's the last thing you should do, Jenna. Find a way to work things out with Collin before you go telling Matty." Her eyes shifted from me to the side then back to me. "Looks like you have that chance now."

I quirked my eyebrow in curiosity and turned around, wondering what she was talking about. My eyes widened when they met with Collin's. What was he doing here and how much of our conversation did he hear?

All that seemed to slip out of my mind when I got a look at the blue skin-tight V-neck he was wearing. I knew he was fit before but now it was perfectly obvious. I just wanted to reach my hand out and run it down each of his six abs and that big, strong chest. A groan escaped my lips as I admired his body.

"Jenna…Jenna…"

My name being called brought me back to reality.

"I've got to go talk to Jake about something. You two have fun." Tamara said, shooting me a playful smile as she stood up and left.

"So Collin, what's up?" I asked coolly.

Collin smiled his usual smile as he sat down a little too close to me. "I was just wondering if you wanted to meet up at Bean There Done That tonight. I've got something I wanted to ask you." He said.

Something he wanted to ask? I tried to control my mind from wandering as best I could. What did he want to ask me? Was he going to tell me that he broke up with his girlfriend and wanted to date me even though he knew I was with Matty? That didn't seem possible for 2 reasons. 1, I wasn't the most desirable person and 2, people who are about to break up don't kiss like they were in her car.

"Uh…sure I'll meet you there at 7."

Collin gave a nod and rubbed my shoulder before leaving me alone with my thoughts.

A sigh went past my lips as my head hit the table. This guy just keeps finding a way to confuse me even more.

I felt a hand touch my cheek and my head quickly shot up. I let out a breath of relief when I saw it was just Matty.

"Hey, what did Collin want?" He asked.

I bit my tongue lightly unsure of how I should answer. It seemed like an angel and a devil were on my shoulder telling me to do the opposite of the other.

"He just wanted me to help him with his paper for Mr. Hart's class." I lied. The angel was shaking his head while the devil did a bit of a happy dance.

If I was so over my Collin phase like I thought then why was I lying to Matty about him?

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**A/N: So this is my first Awkward fanfic. Please leave a review, I'd love to see what you think of the story so far.**


	2. Three's An Awkward Crowd

I searched my closet for a shirt to wear to Bean There Done That tonight. I normally wouldn't care about it but since Sadie _accidently_ slipped and her slushie spilled all over my shirt I had no choice but to change.

Not wanting Collin to think I was over or under-dressed I grabbed the first shirt my hand landed on. I rolled my eyes at the shirt but after glancing at the clock I knew I didn't have time to change. As I left my room wearing my Jenna Lives in Tribute shirt, that I don't even remember getting, I couldn't help but think I was forgetting something.

What was I forgetting? It couldn't have been that important anyway.

"Hey Jenna, I need to tell you something," My mother said, stepping in front of me. She looked at me with an arched eyebrow. "Why does it seem like you're going somewhere?"

"Because I am. Whatever it is that you need to tell me you can tell me when I get back." I told her as I walked around her.

"Oh wait! Matty wanted you to meet him….at Bean There Done That…" My mother said, mumbling the last part, but I was already gone.

**AWKWARD.**

I glanced at my phone for the fifth time since arriving here. Maybe if I didn't get here early I wouldn't be wondering why Collin isn't here yet. Should I leave then come back later so it looks like I was actually busy? Or should I just leave and not come back at all?

I loved open mic night but the lady who was telling us, in excruciating detail, about her numerous past partners was killing my mood. When she was finally kicked off the mic the coffeehouse erupted in loud applause.

It was pretty disgusting considering how a little less than half the people who were clapping wanted to hook-up with her. You could tell by how the immediately gathered around her when she got off stage. While the rest of the coffeehouse was clapping because it was finally over, myself included.

My mind began to wander for the next 15 minutes as I waited for Collin to arrive.

A small smile formed on my lips when a felt a hand on my shoulder. Too bad it wasn't the person who I thought it would be.

"Matty?" I asked, slightly confused.

"Hey, babe," He kissed my cheek and sat down at the table with me. "You look surprised. Didn't your mom tell you I was meeting you here?"

Note to self, listen to what mom has to say before leaving house.

"She…might have mentioned it," I replied awkwardly with bit of a nod. I was never a lucky person so I didn't expect anything other than Collin to walk in at the wrong time.

And look who just showed up five minutes late for our friend-date-thing.

"Hey Jenna, sorry I'm late. I got-"Collin started but stopped when he saw Matty. "Oh I didn't know you invited Matty."

"I didn't!" I responded almost too quickly. I cleared my throat before I tried again, "I mean…I didn't."

Matty and Collin looked at me strangely. Not being able to handle the situation I quickly stood and pointed to the two. "Anyone need coffee? I need coffee. Why don't I go get us all some?" The words spilled out of my mouth just as fast as I walked away.

"So where's the paper Jenna is supposed to be helping you with?" Matty asked Collin.

Collin sat down in one of the chairs at the table and looked at Matty with a confused expression. "What paper is Jenna helping me with?" He asked, not knowing what he was talking about. "I came here to talk to her about something kind of important. That's why I was surprised to see you here."

A sigh slipped past my lips as I walked back to the table carrying two coffee cups. Matty could just share with me. I slid Collin's cup over to him then sipped mine and Matty's.

"So what did you two talk about while I was gone?" It was always best to ask because who knows what kinds of things guys talk about when they are left alone.

"Matty told me that you said you were supposed to be helping me with some paper. What paper is her talking about?" Collin asked with his usual bright smile. I couldn't help but smile back.

"I thought that's what you asked me to come here for," I lied.

"No. I actually had to talk to you about something important."

Was it getting hot in here or was it just me? I hoped they didn't hear my heart pounding. I was overreacting when I didn't even know what he wanted to talk to me about.

Could he have spent the five minutes that made him late breaking up with his girlfriend? It didn't seem likely but one could only hope.

My gaze shifted to my boyfriend who was just sitting there quietly. He must have felt my eyes on him because he wasn't looking at us, probably thinking about what was going on.

"Oh sorry," Matty said, coming out of his daze. "I'll leave you two to your conversation." He stood up, kiss my cheek and left.

Why did Matty want to meet me here in the first place?

Feeling a warm hand on top of mine my eyes went back to Collin who was looking at me with a somewhat serious expression.

"I need to talk to you about my girlfriend." He said.

Was I ready to hear what he had to say? And why did I get the sudden feeling that history was about to repeat itself again?

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**A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed and read this! Leave a review and tell me what you think of the story so far.**


	3. Can't Get Any Worse Than This

Have you ever had that feeling like today was going to be the worst day of your life? Well I felt that way even before I went to sleep last night.

Not only had I upset Matty at the coffee shop but I couldn't even log into my blog because my password got changed somehow. It took a whole 24 hours for my password to reset.

My life had just become some strange Twilight parody for the second time. The only difference was this time it was worse.

As soon as I saw the Team Matty or Team Collin shirts that some of the students were wearing I wanted to throw up.

How did they know about the whole Matty vs. Collin problem? Where did they get these shirts? How much time do I have to get run away before anyone notices me?

I turned on my heel ready to run away from this nightmare that was my life but it was too bad Ming and Tamara were blocking my way.

"Jenna, we never knew you were so badass." Ming said as the two approached me.

"Yeah, I didn't think you would ever make your blog public again." Tamara said with her usual clueless smile.

**AWKWARD.**

I felt my heart drop into my stomach even before Tamara got that last word out of her mouth.

"I didn't make my blog public. What are you guys talking about?" I asked nervously. I didn't want to believe what they were saying but I knew they had no reason to lie about something like this.

When Ming took her phone out and went to my blog page there it was. All my blog posts about Matty and Collin, my feelings about the situation, and worst of all the truth about the paper I read at Bean There Done That.

"Wait, so if you didn't make your blog public who did?" Ming asked, pocketing her phone.

"I bet it was that skitch Sadie." Tamara said.

Did my password changing have something to do with how my blog was made public? How did he or she even know my password? I don't log into it at school and I hardly ever stay logged in when I'm at home.

"Judging by Jenna's face-mail she's starting to figure out what's going on." Tamara said. "What's going on? Someone didn't hack into your blog did they?"

Why would someone hack into my blog? I was the invisible girl once. The girl that people had to struggle with remembering her name. I seriously doubted that someone would hack into my blog.

"I don't think so," I answered, scanning the hall. There was no sign of Matty. "Where did everyone get these shirts from?"

"Your stalker has been handing them out since this morning." Ming said.

Tamara nodded. "He's not as bad as you think. He made us our own special shirts."

I hadn't even noticed. Tamara and Ming weren't wearing a Team Collin or Team Matty shirt but instead it was… team me. Well actually it said Team Jenna but you get what I meant. I felt a bit better until I realized there was a question mark after Jenna.

Even my stalker was starting to doubt me.

My thoughts were cut short when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to see a not-so-happy Matty and a crowd of people behind us.

"Jenna we need to talk." He said. I remember the last time he said that we needed to talk; I thought he was going to break up with me.

"I read your blog and," Matty paused; he was trying to find the right way to word what he was going to say. "I can't believe I didn't realize how much you've been lying to me, about the paper and about your relationship with Collin."

"Matty, I can explain if you just hear me out." I said, placing my hand on his arm.

"I'm not sure if I can believe anything you tell me right now, Jenna." Matty said. My heart was already breaking because I knew what was about to come next. "I think we should take a break, I need to sort things out."

Matty brushed my hand off of his arm. The crowd and I watched him walk down the hall and through the double doors.

I turned my head to look at the girl whose phone was ringing. I really wanted her to hurry up and answer because the last thing I needed was to hear Taylor Swift sing about how she's never ever ever getting back together with one of her ex-boyfriends.

Tamara and Ming moved next to me but didn't say anything. I don't blame them. I don't even know how to make myself feel better right now.

"Looks like you're finally getting what you deserve Hamilton." An all too familiar voice said in the crowd.

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**A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed and read the story, it really means a lot. Leave a review and tell me what you think of this new chapter!**


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